


Happily

by ribonhwa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 18:31:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1909344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribonhwa/pseuds/ribonhwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis missed touching Harry, talking with him, being with him. He really just longed to have the other the way he used to have him having fallen into this destructive loop in their relationship. He needed to fix it;<br/>Follows story through a dark patch in Harry and Louis' history, and covers with flash backs memories from beginning of them in the X-factor, and eventually a making up and being with each other happily.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Happily

**Author's Note:**

> I've rather recently gotten into the 1D fandom and I'm amazed by the larry stylinson stuff and just… well, you all know.  
> I've been writing this for quite a long time, trying to get it somewhat right. Yesterday I finally put my snapback on backwards and finished this up. All of today I spent looking it through and trying to polish the edges, my lovely roommate helping me by giving her point of view on some parts she thought were too funky or posh.  
> If it matters to some of you, this one has a bottom!Harry so to say.  
> I'm quite nervous by publishing this, and I hope you all like it.  
> tumblr [here](http://himebaby.tumblr.com/post/90975642124/happily-ribonhwa-one-direction-band-archive-of)  
> Please, enjoy !

Most days went by in a kind of blurs these days. Things after things to do, places after places to go, and people after people to meet. Louis Tomlinson guessed he'd gotten used to it by then, not actually feeling bothered by any of it anymore. More than anything, he felt nothing about any of it anymore. It was an unpleasant feeling of emptiness, like there was something missing. What the missing piece was, he couldn't name, couldn't say. All there was a big, fat nothing with an impossibly strong longing for something more.

After it was all done for the day, it actually intensified, multiplied by a thousand or a million. It became more like a deep kind of sadness. Some nights if he was alone, he would cry. It didn't help any, but it almost felt like a welcomed alternative to the emptiness.

Wasn't it better to have something to feel rather than nothing at all?

 

The interview was nothing out of the ordinary. The nothing was still filling him up, not leaving room for anything else, as the same questions got thrown at them. Louis let the other boys handle all the questions. Liam was talkative, his voice heard more than anyone else's - Modest liked how Liam answered the questions anyway, since he and Harry had overstepped boundaries more often than not.

Their new rules didn't leave him with much choice of what to say. He preferred to stay silent, unless he had to speak to avoid having Harry poorly lie.

He could hear Harry talking in his lazy, low tone. It sent some kind of feeling through him, making the longing even stronger. Wouldn't it actually make sense the missing thing in his life was Harry? He couldn't even remember the last time they had kissed, much less spent the night together.

Not being able to fight it anymore, he decided to give their management the imaginary finger and looked past the other three boys between him and Harry.

His hair messy, curly and long, he stood tall and slender. Those deep, green eyes looked at the interviewer and his lips moved as he talked.

Louis willed the other to look back at him. It had happened more often than not before: when one looked over the other would also turn to look.

But then it didn't work anymore.

Not any of their matching tattoos, no amount of longing could bring back that bond. It was broken, and to Louis it felt like it was beyond repair. He wasn't sure when it had happened, what amount of stretching had made it snap.

He turned away, refusing to take any interest in the rest of the interview at all.

 

Louis had never felt as uncomfortable under anyone's eyes than Harry's. There was an intense kind of look in them, when the younger boy looked at him. It had been there from the beginning, since that day, they had seen each other during the line up to auditions.

When standing outside, in the line to get inside, he'd felt those eyes on him. It was a tickling sensation in the back to his neck and he'd turned his head multiple times, before their eyes had locked. 

Those green eyes had told Louis everything: how he was the center of Harry's universe, the sole reason for the other boy breathing and all that mattered in the end. For Louis it felt like that from the start, and there was a strong pull towards him. Despite that, the look soon became too much for him, and he had to look away. He pushed some of his long locks to cover his face, feeling rather exposed to the other's stare.

Later on during bootcamp in the bathrooms, he saw Harry again. There was no mistaking from the curly hair, and the slender frame, even if the other had his back turned. He was standing by the urinals.

There was no other people in the bathroom, as he just stepped beside the other and spoke up:

"Hi", he said in a friendly voice gaining the other's attention, having that curly head turn towards him. The green eyes locked with his and there was an immediate recognition in them.

Unfortunately the head wasn't the only part of him that turned towards Louis as he then felt warm liquid on his leg and stepped backwards a step or two.

"Oops", the boy said in a deep voice and returned his attention to his task at hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you like that."

"Do I even want to know how you wanted to get me then?" Louis responded in a joking voice. He wasn't too upset about the matter. He headed to the sinks to wash himself up and heard a deep laugh from Harry.

"You'd probably prefer that actually", he answered. He'd come to stand by the sink beside Louis and looked at him through the reflection of the mirrors - the intense look was still in them and Louis couldn't look away. "I'm Harry by the way."

"Louis", Louis introduced himself as well and finally tore his eyes from the other.

After that nothing was ever the same, everything changed for Louis.

 

But Harry wasn't looking at him like that anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen that look in those green eyes. It had disappeared with the rest of those little things, that he and Harry had used to have.

Louis just wasn't the center of Harry's universe anymore.

 

Harry had been assigned to another party for that night. Nothing that didn't surprise Louis, despite that he had wanted the other to be around this night, and every other night as well. Those nights that Harry wasn't around ended up with him restlessly tossing and turning for hours, before sleep came to him. There was a strange kind of comfort to having the warmth of Harry's body beside him as they slept. It was the only intimacy they still had with each other and Louis felt like he was pathetically clinging to that small piece of affection with both hands.

Maybe even in vain, since their thing seemed to be dying out. Why should that small thing matter, when everything else seemed to be gone?

"I'll be going then", Harry said as he had gotten dressed in the clothes, which a stylist had picked out for him.

Louis hummed in reply and didn't lift his eyes from his phone. He wasn't even looking at anything particular, but found it unbearable to look at Harry. He didn't want to look up to see, what wasn't there anymore.

Harry was hesitating, he could tell without looking. There were no footsteps taken towards the door or towards him for a final kiss. Louis waited it out, those few seconds, before someone came to get Harry out of there.

His muscles didn't even relax, when he heard the door being shut behind Harry, but Louis let out a sigh anyway. There was a sense of relief to being alone, while being in the state of mind he was in. It gave him permission to grief and let out the sadness.

The phone dropped from his hand to the pillow of the bed and he let it all out.

 

Their first kiss was one, that Louis would never forget. It had been building up from when they met to the time it happened the very last night before their fate would be sealed. There had been teasing back and forth between them: double meaning words, sometimes not at all trying to hide meaning behind them; touches that lingered longer and longer each time, and closer and closer; whispering into each other's ears.

That was the worst and the best for Louis. It combined hearing Harry's deep voice spoken low in his ear with his hot breath on the sensitive skin. More often than not, it left him feeling less than comfortable in his jeans and sent chills down his spine.

While it left him the way it did, Louis wouldn't have changed that, the way it made him feel.

The amount of time they would be spending together felt like it would be so short. They made everything of it, like everyone there did. Riding the ride to the fullest, both in the negative and positive feelings, felt like the only way to do it.

That last night, Louis couldn't sleep. It wasn't unlike anyone else there, since everyone seemed to be on the edge. Still he laid in his bed, the gears in his head turning as he thought about the future.

It wasn't like he would never see Harry again, even if one of them or both didn't make this cut: they had long ago exchanged phone numbers; sometimes even texting each other, though they'd stayed close all the time. Still that time felt like it was somehow a last chance to do anything more than the light teasing.

"Louis?"

The voice sounded softly from the bed next to his, Harry obviously as awake as he was at the late hour. He hummed a soft reply to let the other know he'd heard.

"I can't sleep", Harry mumbled the small complaint in his deep voice to the darkness. Louis could only imagine the small pout that would come to the pink lips. He'd seen it enough times during the two days they'd known each other to be able to see it clearly before his eyes.

"Me neither. Let's go outside for a bit", he decided quickly. His movements were restless as he got up, pulled on sneakers to the bare feet and a sweater on.

Harry agreed and was slower to get dressed, leaving Louis waiting on the edge of his bed.

It was dark and much colder outside than Louis would have thought and he had his arms wrapped around himself in an attempt to warm himself a bit. That was before Harry wrapped his arm around him. He leaned in and returned the favor.

And the night suddenly felt a lot hotter, and nothing bothered him anymore. Not even the fact that he could hardly feel his freezing toes.

"It's weird that all this could be over tomorrow", Louis spoke up first about, what was probably on both of their minds. Harry just nodded, hanging his head a little. They stopped walking and stood in the shadows of the building. They had just followed the walls by Louis' lead. "You're going to be fine though, you'll make it somehow", Louis continued and stroked along Harry's cloth covered, long arm.

"I'll take you with me then", Harry said and looked straight at Louis. Those eyes looked as intensely at him, telling him just how serious Harry was about, what he said. There was no bone in Louis that doubted the words, even if his mind told him the kid was only sixteen; the look was just too strong, held him captive to those words.

And he lowered his eyes to look at the lips, that had spoken them. They were slightly parted and Louis leaned in without hesitation to press his lips against Harry's.

It felt so warm to be pressed against Harry in the cold of the night. His lips were soft and wet, much like Louis had expected them to be, and the first, soft kiss was soon followed by another and another. There was no stopping, as he pressed his shorter body against Harry's, who was leaning against the stonewall.

Louis had no idea, where he ever found the strength to stop. He also had no idea, how long it actually took him to find that strength. By the time he did, they were both hard, pressed against each other and panting, with nowhere to go.

"Let's just walk for a bit more", Louis said out loud. Harry's eyes were fixated on his lips, so the other must have known he spoke, even if he didn't reply. "Harry?" he questioned to be sure. The younger looked ready to eat him up, but Louis had stopped for reasons, that went beyond his freezing toes.

Something he wasn't sure he'd be able to do another time.

Harry nodded by then, followed after Louis and they moved along. Louis really thought the cold night would cool them down, keep them in check. Little did he know, as they got back to their beds, more than kissing would happen, as hands got to wander around.

 

Louis woke up, when he heard the door close. He wasn't sure if he'd been sleeping much at all and he felt more tired than when he'd gone to bed. He blinked his eyes in the darkness and strained his ears to listen to the steps being taken into the room holding his breath.

Harry had never had a quiet steps, even less when he'd grown to be as tall as he was. He was a little out of breath and he was stripping of clothes as he went, Louis could hear the rustle. 

More than by the sound, he guessed it from memory; from those times when he'd turned to look.

The bed shifted, when Harry sat down on it. Louis laid still, every part of him tensed up, not being able to relax. Harry moved over on the bed, laying his body down beside Louis.

"Are you mad at me?"

The question broke the muffled silence, and the deep voice sounding timid, but sincere. It was accompanied by a hand being placed on Louis shoulder. The sudden touch made his breath hitch, sending a wave of emotion going through him; hope, love, relief and the longing stronger than before.

It felt like a connection after all the time of disconnection, like something was still there.

"No", Louis answered his voice falling a little short.

The answer wasn't a lie though, he wasn't mad at Harry, he never had been. It was more like he wanted the other to want him again, and to show it. He wanted to feel loved again, wanted to be able to mend their broken bond, wanted Harry to reach out to him.

"Alright", Harry mumbled and the hand was pulled away from Louis's shoulder.

All the emotion died with the break of that touch. All but the longing, which was still tearing at Louis. He turned to grab Harry's hand in his, and their eyes met for a small moment in the dark.

Louis couldn't be sure, but to him Harry looked surprised. The look still didn't resemble, how he'd used to look at him. It didn't satisfy Louis and the longing remained.

He closed his eyes and kept Harry's hand in a firm hold.

 

The amount of joy and happiness, when bootcamp was over, made up for the nerve wrecking and heartbreaking moments there. The moment they were called back on the stage and heard the good news were gone in bliss. Louis sought out Harry immediately, and couldn't help himself from throwing himself into the awaiting arms.

"Taking you with me", Harry actually told him then afterwards with both their feet placed back on the ground. The words were accompanied by a big grin, and Louis just wanted to kiss his lips again. He didn't have the time, when they were pulled backstage for interviews on the matter: how did it feel to be back in the game? Was it disappointing to be put in a group?

It certainly wasn't disappointing to Louis. It felt like any kind of God above had smiled down upon him and granted him a way to keep him and Harry in X-factor for the same amount of time. Preferably until the very end.

 

Louis felt the best directly, when he'd woken up and his mind didn't wander too deep yet. There was no remembering, what was going on in his life, what he had to do that day, what had happened the day before. Directly when he woke up, he could just focus on small things:

The light in the room was dim and warm, the sun just rising behind the window.

His body feeling more tired than when he went to sleep, all muscles numb and complaining.

His eyes opening, but falling shut again, it required too much energy to keep them open. 

His toes were cold having slipped form under the covers, so he pulled them up get them warmed.

The rest of his body was very hot. There was a warmth, it seemed to be all around his form, in a tangly kind of mess. It felt too sticky and hot as he stirred and turned over.

Harry had an arm and a leg draped over Louis' body. It was uncomfortably hot seeing as the boy had crawled under Louis' cover and both their bodies were soaking in sweat: Louis' loose T-shirt was clinging to his torso from every side. It clung to Harry as well, because he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Louis uttered a hoarse groan, and began moving from under Harry's arm and leg. The movements were clumsy, too big for the task at hands, since his muscles were not responding properly yet. They just moved around not quite like intended.

Harry was moving around too, awoken by Louis' movements. His arms rose from Louis' form and his hips thrust forwards Louis' thigh.

That was the true wake up for Louis, feeling Harry hard against his leg.

Louis remained stiff against Harry's still moving form. The heat, that spread down his spine and pooled in his groin, felt hotter than his whole body had been. Louis stopped to wonder, when was the last time he'd felt Harry hard.

He couldn't really recall.

It wasn't really any wonder his body reacted as fast as it did, cock hardening by the moment. Harry pushed more against his leg, until it slipped under it, settling between his thigh and the mattress. He settled for that position and fell limp. Louis could feel the other's steady breath on his neck, and he was sure the boy had fallen back into a slumber.

He let out a shaky breath, he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. He didn't even know why; there shouldn't be a reason to feel weird at the thought of Harry waking up next to him with a hard-on. It used to happen before and they would just take care of it, since it was all fun and pleasure.

It didn't change the fact that his heart was racing with nerves, when he thought about getting Harry off. He moved a little, carefully moving his legs from across Harry's hard-on, and turned to face the other.

Harry's face was relaxed, his mouth slightly agape, cheeks a little puffy, eyes shut and his long curls a complete mess across his pillow and over his forehead. The sight reminded Louis of a much younger Harry, brought a feeling of affection towards the other back.

 

The bungalow had been Harry's father's, and all five of the boys went there for the week after bootcamp. Spending time by the pool, playing football and what not, all together. It had all been fun, because Louis got along well with all of the boys, more or less even Liam. That didn't change the fact that he would have preferred to be alone with Harry every now and then that week.

They sneaked behind corners from the others for kisses, where Louis would press Harry's back against the walls. He loved how that made the other gasp for breath and grab Louis' arms hard; just clearly making Harry excited. The whole secrecy thing and sneaking around was fairly unnecessary, when Louis thought back on it, but it added excitement to those stolen kisses.

They sat beside each other, whispering in each other's ears until both of them were painfully hard. It lead to them making joined visits to one of the bathrooms for some quick release. Fumbling around a small loo to get jeans undone, and hardly having the room to turn around. Louis still remembered how unpleasant it felt to have the sink press into his lower back, and how he hardly noticed it, when Harry put his large hands on him and worked him until he came.

They also slept beside each other. Sometimes they were the last two up at night talking with each other, going over each other's stupid jokes, stories and just topics after topics until they fell asleep. Other times Louis would locate, where Harry had dozed off and settle himself down beside the younger boy. He'd watch Harry for a while; the unruly hair, smooth skin, dark lashes above puffed out cheeks, and rosy, wet lips.

He could feel it then, the affection. It was overwhelming, like a complete kind of force he couldn't fight, and just had to give in for. It was growing too, like a warmth swelling up inside him until it filled out his entire body and he had let it.

 

Louis couldn't quite believe he had lost that feeling. Back then it had felt so complete and final, something he would never be able to escape. He hadn't wanted to escape either, he had just welcomed it and accepted it.  
He actually felt like it had lasted: it had been there all along, waiting for the moment, when Louis would remember it again.

Louis raised a hand to the curls on Harry's head and ran it through them. They felt sweaty under his fingers and he had to comb through a few knots in there. All he thought about was, that Harry's hair had been much shorter back, when he'd done that the last time.

It was really a question of why it had been so long, since then?

Louis felt a lowering in his mood, when he thought about it, because it might just have been him pulling away all along. What had started with one day, feeling stressed and isolating himself, had actually stretched out to be a much longer amount of time. What had started out with having to avoid Harry on stage and in interviews had suddenly wedged into their relationship all together.

Louis wouldn't have it like this anymore. He wanted back all the feelings, touches, looks and everything he and Harry used to have.

His fingers worked their way from Harry's curls to the forehead and down to the round cheek. The younger boy was stirring again, eyes squeezing tighter shut and mouth opening for a yawn. Louis waited a while until those green eyes fluttered open and focussed on Louis. His pink lips moved slightly to a small smile, which caught Louis' eyes.

They looked from Harry's lips and up to the other's eyes again, before he closed them as he leaned in for a kiss. He wasn't one for being too careful or hesitant, but one to act out, when he decided to do so. The kiss wasn't very gentle to begin with, maybe a little uncomfortable, when Harry wasn't responding and his lips were dry from sleep, but hot against Louis'.

Harry began responding to the kiss after a moment. A lick to the taller boy's lower lip got him really into it, and Harry pulled Louis closer by the neck. It was almost painful, when Harry sucked Louis' tongue into his mouth hard. It surprised him, Harry was usually very gentle, and he let out a surprised moan into Harry's mouth. The sound made the other soften the kiss, Harry's long tongue gently caressing Louis' when it slipped out of his mouth.

Their mouths wasn't the only part of them that was touching, as their bodies were lined up from head to toe. Harry was still hard, Louis felt it again. He had to turn his eyes to actually see the bulge at Harry's boxers as a kind of stupid confirmation. Not quite surprisingly, it was there to be seen, and the sight brought a sigh from his lips.

Louis wanted this badly, and he had known that. He just hadn't known he wanted it quite this badly.

"Louis", Harry said breathily, voice rough from sleep, and Louis brought his attention back to him. He nodded in acknowledgement and pressed another kiss to the other's lips. Thoughts were whirling around his mind, while he kissed his way to Harry's neck, where he bit down, sucked, kissed and licked at the skin.

He wasn't sure what to do, because it wasn't their first time; still it had been such a long time, since they had been at anything like this. It felt like he had to say something, or talk about it. It was coming to the point, where he actually thought, that he was thinking too much about this and should just do something.

He kissed up to Harry's ear, bit lightly at the earlobe, before whispering.

"I wanted to suck you off", he said. The huskiness of his voice surprised him, and he didn't continue, just pulled back to look Harry in the eyes. He didn't have to say anything more, because Harry nodded his head in agreement eagerly.

"Just lay down", Louis instructed. He lifted himself a bit, and pushed the other backwards by the shoulder. The skin felt hot under his fingers and the butterfly across Harry's chest caught his stare. He could hear Harry's breath hitch when his back hit the mattress, and raised his eyes to the other's face.

Harry was nervous, green eyes a little wide as he looked up at Louis. It made him want to calm the other down, and he leaned over the other to kiss him again, his hands moving from Harry's shoulders down to soft arms. He grabbed hard at the muscles there to give Harry some familiar sensations to ease him up.

It earned him a moan, an accidental bite to Louis lower lip and a thrust upward from Harry's hips. And it was so far so good.

The pressure seemed to built up in Louis, despite that he really wanted to do this. Louis tried to remind himself to relax, because nothing good would come of him trying too hard and not being into it. The effort of trying to relax only seemed to stress him out more.

It was an evil circle really, tension, pressure and stress chasing each other. Eventually he decided a little pressure wouldn't kill him.

It had been nearly two months since he and Harry had sex of any kind, so of course there had to be a little tension: it would be a little uncomfortable, a little searching and trying out, since they were out of practice.

Nothing they couldn't overcome.

Louis kept thinking these things, when he kissed at Harry's collarbone and a little down to the wing of Harry's butterfly tattoo. He had Harry's hands pinned by the taller boy's head, holding on tightly: he knew how Harry liked some rough grips, but didn't want to overdo it.

He held onto Harry's hands, until he felt like licking lower on Harry's body and he couldn't reach anymore. They came down, trailing Harry's arms and settle on the low of the stomach. His thumbs rubbed gently there and he moved them to the sides, and settled on the small love handles on the low. Louis grabbed roughly and earned a louder moan from Harry than the low gasps, hitches of breaths and small whines he had been getting that far.

Louis kissed the butterfly at the center, sucking lightly on the skin, before he moved down on Harry's body. He loved how soft it was under his touch, his mouth, when pushed. He kept kissing lower to, until he could actually feel the hard on pushing against his shoulder.

A hot flash made it's way slowly down his spine, and it was almost painful when it added to the pressure of his own hard cock.

His position was uncomfortable, even when he settled himself down better on his stomach between Harry's widely spread legs, but he didn't mind it much. He pulled at the elastic band of Harry's boxers and Harry raised his hips to help him get the garment down. Louis did and revealed Harry's cock. His hands tightened their grip on the boxer's, his eyes looked over the erection, past it at Harry laying spread out, his breath hitched and he felt his pulse pounding in every part of his body with excitement.

 

Harry was too big for his mouth, he knew that much: they had been in this position before. It had never stopped him before, though he had felt a little more confident about doing this back then.

Louis was not about to let his nerves stop from doing it, there was no way he could mess this up, so he went for it.  
He moved one of his hands to the testicles to rub them between his fingers. That alone caused Harry to buck up his hips a little, so Louis pushed him back down with his free hand on Harry's thigh. He moved the hand up to the pelvic bone, because he loved the feel of it under his palm. He grabbed at the hip harder, more for Harry's pleasure than his own, enjoying the sound the other made, as one of Harry's hands came to lay on his.

He took a deep breath, and moved his face closer to Harry's cock. He licked at the underside of him wetly up to the tip, which he took into his mouth, carefully keeping his mouth wide about the flesh. His tongue tried to find room around the cock, when he took more of it in tentatively.

Having as much of it inside his mouth as he felt he could take, Louis hollowed his cheeks to suck. His hand moved from Harry's testicles to the shaft of the cock, which his mouth couldn't take in and rubbed at it. He could feel how Harry was trying to buck his hips, but his other hand still kept the other down. He wasn't ready for that yet.

He moved his head up and down a couple of times, eyes closed and getting a feel of it. Sucking a little harder, he hollowed his cheeks in more tightly around Harry. Feeling like he could be ready, he opened his eyes to look at Harry and stopped holding Harry down by the hip. He kept his hand there in case he needed it.

The thrusts were erratic, slowing and fastening the pace for no real reason it seemed, but Louis tried to keep up with them. His eyes were on Harry, who had one hand in his own curls pulling at the hair there. The butterfly on his chest was rising and falling rapidly, and it looked almost like it was flying.

"Louis."

Harry's voice was out of breath, and while it wasn't uncommon for the other to call his name or speak during sex, Louis knew Harry was trying to warn him. The tell tale of how hard his hand was squeezing on his and how his back was already a little arched gave Louis a clue as well: Harry was close.

Closing his eyes, he concentrated more on hollowing his cheeks, creating more pressure for Harry and let the other thrust further into his mouth, faster and shorter moves. The last thrust left Harry's hips lifted for a moment as he came, before he fell back against the mattress, all muscles relaxed after climbing to the high and coming down.

Louis swallowed the salty, bitter come and licked what was left on Harry's softening cock away too.

 

The afterwards was quite hysterical. Louis saw Harrys body shaking, while he was still coughing up after the swallowing, and rubbing at his aching jaw. He dropped his fingers from his stubble, when he realized the other boy was actually sobbing.

And he felt everything inside him turn cold, freezing up. It was worse than all the time of emptiness, the longing or the nightly lonesome crying. The deep cutting ache that swallowed him whole seemed too intense, like it should stop his breathing. The guilt that surrounded it almost made him wish it actually could, like he would have deserved to die out of breath for making Harry cry.

He swallowed back a sob of his own, and crawled up to Harry's side. There were salty tears stinging in the corners of his own eyes, but he didn't let them fall. They blurred his vision, yet he could still make out Harry with his long arm over his no doubt teary eyes and body shaking with sobs. Pushing them away to and biting his lip he reached out to Harry.

"It's alright", he said voice strained. It held all the emotion, he had tried to hold back to sound calm. A whole ocean of pain dripping with guilt. 

"I missed you", Harry sobbed and leaned into Louis. His voice was deep and so sincere expressing the longing and affection. It was the only way Harry talked anyway, heart on his sleeve and emotions bared.

Their position was uncomfortable, Louis' one leg trapped underneath Harry, his semi-hard cock pressing against Harry's stomach, but it didn't matter. They were touching and talking, and it felt a whole lot like they were mending; making up after a fight, that never really happened.

It was the hard part, because neither knew, what kind of issue they would address: nothing had actually went wrong. They had just fallen into a loop, that damaged them.

It was a loop Louis felt strongly he had stirred them into. Because it shouldn't have mattered what their management team said, what the public thought or anything other than Harry.

"I'm sorry", Louis sighed shakily. The words rang empty to his own ears, but he didn't know what else to say. There was nowhere to begin, and he tried to grasp onto anything that he could from inside his aching head.

There were thoughts about Modest, about stress, about insecurities. None made it past his mouth, took form of words.

Louis' tears were making it down his cheeks and he pressed his head on top of Harry's, not allowing the other to see him cry. He refused the sobs to take over his body and caused his breaths to become irregular, vibrating through mid exhale.

Harry's sobs were dying down slightly, and he had his head rested against Louis' chest. He must have heard the wildly beating heart, felt the shaky breaths and his long fingers grasped at the fabric of Louis' shirt hard for comfort.

"We're going to be alright now, yea?" Harry asked, the words coming out slow and deep. There was an insecurity in the voice, a fear that the loop hadn't ended. And while this was taking a step out of that bad place, a change to the continuing misery, there was no closure to for a happily ever after.

Louis didn't trust his voice to work, not even after swallowing a couple of times to calm his breathing, it didn't. He just nodded his head, because Harry deserved the comfort and he wouldn't let this happen again. Harry turned his head up to look at the other eyes wide and wondering, the look in them so young, like a 16-year-old Harry looking to Louis for answers. That made him try harder, and he dried his tears away taking a deep breath.

"Yea, we're going to be alright", Louis answered in a steady voice. It was what Harry needed to hear, and what he needed to say. A start to this conversation, that they would talk it out. A gentle promise to begin with was perfect, the comfort both of them needed to breathe easy: it revealed the happily ever after that the end would be.

"Let's sit up, yea?" Louis suggested and pulled away from Harry a little. The other boy nodded his head and pulled away as well. He pulled his boxers up, before sitting up opposite Louis. Long fingers were fidgeting and Louis grasped one of the hands in his own to stop them. He didn't want Harry to feel nervous, wanted the other to relax.

"Like I said before I'm sorry, yea?" Louis started with a small question at the end. His eyes searched the sheets and up Harry's body to the other's attentive face. Expectant eyes looked at him, and a small nod shook those long curls and Louis wished he had any kind of straight forward kind of answer to Harry. It would be nice to blame an evil force, a clear villain, but this would really have to be pinned on Louis.

"I'm real sorry too", Harry answered with a small smile and words drawn out. His long fingers were stroking at Louis' own and the smile brought a weight from Louis, clearing his mind from the dull ache.

"You don't need to be", Louis said. There was a certainty to his words, like he meant them, even if they were spoken softly. His eyes looked to Harry's to make the other see he meant them. The other looked confused and Louis sighed, because it was time for the explanation.

He wasn't even sure if explanation was the right word, maybe it was more like a confession of feelings.

"I have felt alone lately." It came out soft, since he knew Harry would blame himself.

Alone or loneliness hardly even expressed it either way: he had Zayn to hang out with, the comfortable, comforting company letting him escape his own thoughts. The real sentence would have been without Harry, because no one else could really fill that void.

"Yea, I have been to a lot of parties and stuff", Harry replied and his hand squeezed Louis' in apology or a try to make up for the absence he hadn't even decided on himself. "I shouldn't have..."

"That's not your fault, Harry, you know that", Louis interrupted trying to make the other believe it too by adding the last part.

It was surreal sometimes, how much of good person and sensitive Harry could be; taking small criticism hard, having the patience Louis never would with fans or interviewers, and then this. Actually feeling bad for going to parties or clubs or what ever he had been made go to, as part of this job.

He sighed. "Me being an twat is my fault, so…"

"You're not a twat." Of course Harry said that, and had a hand to his arm in addition. It actually made him feel better: Harry still thought highly of him.

"Well, that's nice of you, but I have been a twat", Louis spoke up again with a light laugh. "I mean there's the no touching, no talking, no looking rule, but it shouldn't be… shouldn't make me a twat", Louis got out his eyes turned downward and his tone slightly tense with the last part. Harry was holding on to his arm still, supporting him, so he continued:

"And I'm sure you don't want to be with a twat, so maybe if I stop being one, you'll still keep me."

It was humorously said, but with a serious intent, an actual question behind it.

Louis raised his eyes to look at Harry. The puffy, red lips were smiling and his eyes looked at Louis with clear adoration.

"My twat", Harry said for an answer and leaned forward to kiss Louis' lips. 

 

It was like the first time he had kissed Harry over again, the small innocent kisses turning into open mouthed passionate ones with no end in sight. It felt fiercer than before, closer somehow, Harry's tongue in his mouth licking away at all the crooks. The bitter salty taste got milder and milder by the minute, Harry swallowing down a whole lot of it.

Louis pressed himself against Harry and pulled the other closer by the waist. It was Harry's cooled down sweaty chest against his T-shirt, and it was frustrating, but he didn't want to pull back to actually take the shirt of. Harry's hands were at the hem, but the way they were lined up left little room for actual undressing.

There was a small whine from Harry's lips at the obstacle, and he was pulling back. Louis wouldn't have it leaning after Harry. At the very end, he was licking at Harry's smiling lips, amusement clear at how determined Louis was to keep going. Louis smiled as well, opening his eyes and pulled away.

Green eyes didn't leave his, looked very intently at him and Louis was distracted while Harry's hand slipped to his lap. There was a hot pulse going throughout him at the friction, the cotton of the briefs pressing against him. It settled at his cock, pulsing to the point where he had to close his eyes to take it and his mouth opened in a gasp that never really came. It was more like a sharp intake of breath, and his mind went completely blank.

The hand stilled and held on much more gently, like a teasing touch. Louis opened his eyes to see a smiling Harry, his eyes focussing on Louis' own. The look was playful, provoking Louis to make his move.

And Louis would prove that two could play that game.

He removed the bruising grip he hadn't even realized he had on Harry's waist, the hands moving gently to Harry's chest. He watched his fingers as they moved along the lower wings of the butterfly tattoo, the touch small and soft, the stomach rising and lowering shakily with Harry's breaths. He pressed harder and pushed until Harry fell back.  
Harry let out a small gasp at the surprise, and instinctively tried to get back up. Louis pressed a hand to his chest to stop him, and raised an eyebrow as a question to Harry: did he really want to get up now? Harry's head was just near the edge of their hotel bed, some of his long curls falling over it, his mouth agape, but then curving into a smile. Louis seemed confident and sure enough to lift his hand, trusting Harry to stay put.

Both hands free Louis pulled his T-shirt off, grateful for the freeing feeling as he got the damp fabric from his skin. A smile curved over his lips, when he saw Harry looking over his form eyes flying from the tattoo across his collarbones to lower on his torso. They never settled for a spot, unable to decide, wanting to see it all. It was when Louis moved, that they catched his eyes.

He leaned over Harry, his body a little above the other just almost touching. Harry's breaths let their upper stomaches touch, but Louis kept his hips raised. He liked the anticipation, the impatience of Harry as the other tried to pull him down hands pulling on Louis' hips. They soon gave up, and a hand raised to smack Louis' on his bottom weakly. It was much more gently than how Louis' would have smacked if Harry pulled the same on him.

"I thought you said you would stop being a twat", he whined and pouted his puffy lower lip. They looked redder and were certainly more swollen than before the intense make out session and Louis' eyes were captured to them.  
Louis smiled into the kiss he leaned to give Harry. The response was immediate, needy and Harry sucked in his lower lip. The hands on his hips were pulling again, willing Louis to move them. Louis let them fall, pushing down and upward until there was contact.

Their mouths fell apart, both trying to catch their breath. Louis had to grasp onto Harry's arms hard, all of his muscles at a tense, and his teeth found the junction of Harry's neck and shoulder with a wonder of smooth, sweaty, tan skin to bite on his. He could feel the twitch it sent through the body underneath him and unclenched his jaw to settle for sucking and licking at the skin.

He built a rhythm with his hips, one Harry responded to with lifting his hips. It was painfully slow and seductive, but he kept it that way with sheer willpower. He raised his head and watched Harry's face: flushed cheeks, rosy lips letting out the heavy breaths and eyes unfocused. 

The sight was as breathtaking as the whole situation, all hot sighs, a small twitch he could feel from Harry's cock against his hip and the slow, slow friction that was getting them nowhere. Louis had to bring it to a stop, had to get something more.

A hand stilled Harry's hips, Louis let out a a sigh and he kept himself against the other, lined up. Harry's eyes focussed on him, but Louis dropped himself down to kiss at Harry's ear. Long fingers found their way through his hair, the gesture all affection and Louis felt his chest swell at it.

"OK, love, what do you want to do?" he asked into Harry's ear. The shiver through Harry at the words could be felt along his own body, and the goosebumps were felt where their skin met.

"Have sex." The last word rolled out Harry's mouth long and seductive right into Louis' ear. It felt it ran all the way through him to his toes and fingers, until they curled and tingled.

"I know that much", Louis complained and raised his head to look at Harry. He was still trying to shake of the affect the answer had on him. Harry's sly and happy smile told him that he knew what he did to him, just how madly he could get to Louis with that low voice.

A pinch at Harry's thigh seemed payback enough, and he found soft skin between his fingernails. Louis smiled satisfied at the small gasp and jump of the other. The fingers in his hair had grasped quite hard, but were soon stroking softly again.

"The question remains", Louis reminded after the pinch.

On an afterthought he should have dreaded and longed for the answer, because he was asking Harry Styles: the boy knew, what to say to drive him crazy, get him hard and make his cock twitch just by mare words. This had been proved in much more public places than in this privacy of the hotel room.

Here he had Harry's eyes locking with his, licking at his swollen lips, before parting them for words:

"Don't you want to shag me?"

 

It was all lip bruising kisses from there, Harry's hand keeping Louis' head in place. Louis' hands were greedily and non gently feeling all over Harry's body until they found the boxers to pull down. He pulled while Harry lifted his hips, and he got them past the hard cock, before Harry let his hips fall back to the mattress. One of Harry's hands was pulling his briefs down, he could feel the cooling air hitting his bottom, but they stuck at the front: his erection didn't let them past it.

They were both left with boxers and briefs more or less cladding their bits and parts after the display. Despite best attempts, their current position just didn't allow them to remove their remaining cursing, and despite Louis deepest regrets, he couldn't go back in time and remove them before they laid down.

"We have to move, Haz", Louis mumbled out lips still firmly against Harry's lips. There was a whine for a reply and final sloppy kiss pressed against his lips, before Harry let him up.

It was quick work of his own underwear, tossing them behind him blindly, before he returned to Harry's side. He pulled the other's underwear down from high on the thighs and Harry kicked his feet to disregard them for good.

Harry looked so good naked in the soft morning light, skin golden, shaft hard against his stomach, the butterfly tattoo rising and falling with his breaths and endlessly long legs spread out for Louis. His eyes looked invitingly and slightly insecurely at Louis and he'd pushed himself up on his elbows to see better. Louis moved next to Harry and pressed a small, hurried kiss to Harry's lips to ease the other.

"Just wait a minute, love, I'll be right back", he said and scooted over to the edge of the bed. The floor felt cool against his toes as he stepped on it. He walked to his bag and fumbled around a moment to find, what he was looking for.

"You found it?" Harry questioned and had his head turned to looked at Louis.

"Yea, got it", Louis answered and hurried back to the bed with the tube of lube. He spread some across his other hand's fingers to get them slick and was careful not to wipe it on the sheets.

"Where were we?" he questioned a little out of breath, when he got to the bed, and didn't wait for an answer. He crawled across the bed between Harry's legs until he got to eye level with the other. "Right here, I suppose", he answered himself in a small whisper as he leaned down for a kiss. Harry was smiling and his warm fingers were dancing along Louis' spine.

Louis kept their lips locked and trailed one hand along Harry's thigh lightly, only leaving a small trail of lube behind. From on top of the thigh to the inside and slowly underneath it, Louis let his hand slip to Harry's behind. His fingers crept close to the the crack between the clenched cheeks. They gave way for his fingers, when Harry relaxed his muscles with a small sigh into one of the kisses.

"Relax, eh?" Louis suggested pulling away from their soft kisses. His lips were still so close to Harry's that they touched when he spoke, lightly and wet. He could feel Harry's nod when their noses bumped.

Harry's breath was rigid against his cheek, and when Louis' finger found it's way inside of him, it hitched - Louis knew it wasn't because it hurt; Harry just always anticipated this part enough to make him lose his breath when it happened. Louis moved his head to kiss at Harry's neck softly and worked his finger in and out, crooking it inside. He could hear the sighs become small moans, and added another finger, before the third.

"How're you feeling there, Haz?" he asked in a low whisper. Harry's insides clenched around his fingers at the question, and Louis could feel his own cock pulse at that. That clench would soon be around him, hot, slick and tight, and the thought just made his muscles tighten and the heat pool in the low of his stomach.

"Ready", Harry answered his voice strained. His hands pulled at Louis' hair gently to get the other in for a kiss, firm, wet and with a small suck to Louis' tongue before Harry whimpered and pulled away. Louis had removed his fingers.

"OK, hang on", Louis instructed as he lifted himself up a little. The lube slick fingers ran down Harry's thigh and didn't even have to encourage much, before the leg lifted up and almost up to Louis' shoulder. It gave him enough room to let him get into Harry.

Blue eyes searched for the lube, but Harry seemed to beat him to it: long fingers already wrapped around the tube and Harry grinned up at him.

"I can lube you up, Lou", he said in all seriousness. His eyes weren't looking at Louis' own, but rather much down his body to his erection. His hand went straight for it too, lubricated fingers stroking from the base to the head and all the way back down slowly.

The touching left Louis feeling soft, boneless all over his body. His eyes closed tightly shut, and his head felt like it was filed with cotton, like he couldn't hear. It was all softness, slickness and warmth, and his hips moved on their own into Harry's hand. A small, whimpered curse left him, when the hand left him, the fingers stalling at the head of his cock teasingly.

"All good to go."

It was Harry's voice and it rang in Louis' ear like an echo, like it was on repeat the few seconds afterwards. The tone casual and voice a little hoarse. Opening his eyes, he saw Harry looking at him, eyes heavy lidded and clear. It was the kind of look he would give him, when he wanted Louis to come to him.

Not particularly in a sexual way, just in general; from across stage, somewhere backstage, at hotel receptions. It was all in the eyes, and Louis hadn't seen that look in so long it ached.

He leaned down to Harry, head reaching the other's chest and pressing a kiss there. His hand had lead Harry's leg beside him on the chest, and it never failed to amaze him just how bendy Harry was. He was pressing his hips forward, trying to aim the best he could blindly and found the hole with his fingers first. Guiding himself with his hand, the tip of cock poking at the tight entrance, he stopped to catch his breath.

Harry's heart was beating fast, he could feel it against his cheek and hear the soft da-dums. His stomach was rising and falling almost in time with Louis', both of their breathing hot and heavy.

He gave a last warning squeeze to Harry's knee, before he pushed himself in slowly until he was completely inside, the tightness surrounding him.

Both of their breaths had hitched, all hands holding on tightly to whatever was under the fingertips; arms, legs or hair. Louis waited a moment for any sign that he could start moving, he raised himself upward and adjusted his position to be actually ready. He trailed one hand down to Harry's hips to have a grip on the other, pressing his thumb against the prominent hipbone, and followed the movement with his eyes.

Harry looked glossy eyed, flushed cheeked and red lipped and so ready to be fucked, when he turned to the other. And Louis dared to slowly move out to test it out. Harry responded immediately with a sultry sigh, eyes closing and hips moving along.

There was really no question about wether he was ready or not.  
Louis began a rhythm with the thrusts, letting out shuddering breaths as the heat pooled inside him pushing him higher and closer. It made him lose any control over the situation, lose count of the thrusts, going into this with all the feeling, eyes closed and unaware of anything; he heard the sounds of their skins touching, when he thrust forward, the moans and groans, but he didn't register them. All the could feel was the rise, the continuous tensing of all of him to the extend, where he was sure his insides were twisting.

Then it all overflowed, the rise coming to a steep fall, his muscles all giving in, his mind coming to a blank hot white, and he came inside of Harry.

 

The after was a pleasant calm, and he came around slowly noticing things; Harry was underneath him still breathing hard but calming along with him; their stomachs were wet and sticky with Harry's cum and their sweat; and his softening cock was still inside Harry. They both let out soft groans as he pulled out.

Harry's fingers were sticky when he pulled Louis down for a kiss, clumsy and needy. Louis responded to it, his body falling heavily on top of Harry's. They kept the kisses short, stopping sometimes to just keep their lips pressed together tiredly, while their heartbeats slowed down and they breathing came down to a normal pace. Harry had his sticky fingers up in Louis' hair messing it up, and he held on even when they pulled away.

"You're quite something, you know", Louis said with a smile. He felt content, like his chest could just burst with the swelling warmth there. It was filled with the relief of this sort of closeness after such a long time of disconnect, this sort of happiness after the painful times, and just Harry purely making him feel so special again: the affection and attention back to Louis.

Harry hadn't even seemed to hear him at all as he trailed Louis' face with his fingers following the lines he drew with his eyes. It was like he was painting a picture to remember, like he needed to feel to see him properly. Louis basked in the attention, the gentle touches and affection, took in the moment, because he needed to remember this later. When everyone was yelling out at Harry, when Harry gave polite smiles and answers to them, he would have to remember this moment.

And while he promised himself he would remember, wouldn't be upset, Louis knew he really wouldn't be able to keep it; he would still get jealous, would still throw tantrums and it would still show on his face. But he should still be sure about Harry's love, because it surely hadn't changed, even if he had been distant and pulled away.

If love wasn't the problem with either of them, he shouldn't make this harder than it was: love and be loved back, across that stage, across the three boys between them in interviews, and even across further distance, it wouldn't matter.

Laying in with their sweaty and sticky bodies against each other and easily caressing over arms, torsos and faces, the light in the room had become a hot, warm orange as the sun had crawled over the horizon. Soon they had to get up, shower and go out to, what had been planned for that day.

But at the end of that day, when the sun came down, Louis knew he would be able to lay down with Harry again in the same bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment and kudos !


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